I just want to sleep and not think

Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

I took my poor compy to the computer people on campus today and they didn't give me much good news. I need to either call Lenovo or look online for the restore disks for my ThinkPad... I think that the only way to fix her is to start from scratch.

I have a twitch in my eyelid that's been going for a couple hours now... I'm sure it was one of these instances that triggered it
1. I woke up late this morning
2. The discussion of the poor state of my computer
3. Realizing that I have the in-class part of my calc today
4. This weekend is going to be pretty bum
5. I just don't care about school

I'm realizing more and more why people drop out of school so that they can work... and get on with things already. I'm tired of festering in that house. It smells like a toilet, the fucking TV is always on (whether or not someone is there watching it), the word "god" stares at me from the fridge, the walls and the bathroom mirror, the constant glaring, there's never anything remotely healthy to eat, and I just plain ole don't feel comfortable being there or having people over.

Wah wah wah. I know.

Usually I find refuge in our room upstairs but with my computer currently out of commission, that's going to be difficult this weekend. I'm going to have to make my presence downstairs and walk through the negative tension filling the 'house' to get to the other computer which, conveniently, is located in the basement. Big deal? Well, for some reason the heater in the basement is on full-blast and there always seems to be a mysterious pile of shit (or two, or three) directly under this inferno. Now, poo smells bad; really, really HOT poo smells even worse. There are vomit stains all over the carpet and couch because the cat is sick (and Wes' parents refuse to take it to the vet). To sum it up, it's a glorious place to spend any amount of time!

I don't think I'm feeling sorry for myself... I'm just fascinated that people choose to live this way. It's filthy and makes me want to add to the vomit stains.

Hopefully I'll hear from Dan and Julie and they'll save me from the bowels of the library and add to my calculus procrastination.