A prick indeed.

I have homework; quizzes, papers, practice problems, reviews, a test to study for. I have laundry. I need to clean the room. I need to fix my destroyed nails (thanks work). I should shower and give the new tattoo some TLC.

And here I am blogging. What's wrong with me?

One of the chefs I work with is a prick... and it's exhausting to work with pricks. They're always giving you shit and assuming you'll do something wrong or forget to do it and are just anal, anal, anal. I don't know if he doesn't realize that we all have friends, and some of have school, and just other obligations in general... but he's an uber prick about giving "time off." It's not even really "time off." It's still a 40 hour week for most, just "off" on days they're not 'normally' off (we don't really know what "normal" is just yet). He's giving on the girls a really hard time because she has a doctors appointment that's already been rescheduled twice and she has a two-hour one-way drive. She obviously can't work that night and this douche fag is telling her to reschedule again or come to work that day, leave with barely enough time to get there for her appointment, turn around, and drive back to work. Really? This isn't her career you fucking idiot. She's a college kid that needs money. Back the fuck off. When would be most convenient for you for her to make a trip home to see her family and go to her appointment? Prick.

I'm ready to be done.

I'll sleep when I'm dead.

I have religion class today which means I have relgion homework due today which means I wrote non-sensicle things just to finish it and have something to hand in. Here is my answer to question #1:

1. What does death mean to you personally?

Death happens. People die. There isn’t anything you can do to stop it, although people will try to prolong their lives by hooking themselves up to machines and subjecting their bodies to awful drugs to avoid it.

It’s inevitable. Why be scared of it?

Because we’re worried about the people we’re leaving behind? I understand that it’s no fun being the one to suffer when a loved one dies, so what have we done? We’ve created this glorious after-life where our beloved go when they die so that we can tell ourselves “they’re in a better place” and not feel so bad. The afterlife also helps the bereaved feel better about the fact that someday, when they die, they’ll meet up with their dead friends and family members and have the rest of eternity to chit chat and be merry.

People are so afraid of death, I think, because they’re afraid of being forgotten. Human kind has such a fat head and huge ego that we think we are really that important in the “grand scheme of things.” If the Earth were to catch on fire and every one on it were to die, the universe wouldn’t stop for a hot second. Things would go on.

The afterlife was created for people living on the Earth, not the ones burried in it.

I’m happy living this life to its fullest and not waiting until I die to start living.

________

...So, right. The afterlife was created (by humans) for the mere purpose of making living people more content. Well... the entire idea of religion is to make people feel like they mean something to someone who won't waver in his "eternal love" as long as he is praised and worshipped according to his stipulations.

Silly religion!

Goodnight.

too sleepy to write. 10 hours at the new jerb today and a few drinks afterward and then trying to update partially abandoned photo-blerg (my parents have dial-up... remember???) from my mini-vaca. 12 hours at the new jerb tomorrow. While still extremely tired... this is MUCH more bearable than thirds.

Check out the photo-blerg for better-than-words visual update of the weekend. It was a blast!

bulletses

This is going to be a bullet-type-blog because it's quicker than complete thoughts and transitions. Here goes!

• I interviewed at The Market on Friday, they said they'd call by Wednesday, they called Saturday morning. I got the jerb! Yeah, yeah. I realize that it's eight or so weeks from graduation but I can't do thirds anymore. They are a pain in the dick.
• My completed Employment Program finally showed up on my transcript (and brought my GPA up to a 3.754!!!). Not I just have to complete the cultural enrichment BS.
• Wesley got his tires today so hopefully we can get the wheels on the bike tomorrow!!!
• I might do a picture of my Koi for yesterday's photo... but Wesley is still holding my tripod hostage
• I've decided my FP&P class is way too much work
• The career fair is in two weeks! Gots ta find me a big girl jerb!
• Traveling to my parents house this Friday and can't waaaaaiiiiiit!
• Oh... and I want to BE Kat. Don't judge me.

So over it...

I have a love/hate relationship with school. More specifically: college.

I loooooove learning. Love, love, love it. Going to class is... Ok. It's nice to do when there's nothing else I'd rather be doing. I don't even mind being tested a majority of the time. But homework and the outrageous cost of school are two things I really hate.

I basically put my life on hold for four more years and am tens of thousands of dollars in debt and feel completely out of control because I'm stuck here. I know it's what I needed to do to go where'd I'd like to later... but I've just been unhappy-ish and mediocre feeling for long enough that I almost wish I had gotten some shitty job and done school only part time.

I've been feeling really useless and hopeless lately. I think it may be the transition from school to "real life." School is all I know and it's what I'm good at. I've worked all throughout high school and college... but those were jobs, not careers... not anything I really cared about. I feel stuck in this weird overlapping wrapping-up-of-school-and-getting-on-with-it world... I'm still working so hard but there's no job waiting for me at the end so I get the "what's the point?" mentality. I wish I could just slide through these next couples months without a worry and just know that I'll get my Magna Cum Laude and I'll have a job and I'll have a better place to live and be able to sleep well for once.

Maybe I'm not so good at this "life" thing afterall.

eh?

I was this close *holds up finger and thumb* to writing another blog about my frustrations with being treated like a child... but I refrained. Instead, I emailed my mum about it. As long as I get it out, I feel better. I should probably refrain from doing it publicly in case it comes back to bite me in the arse.

I had an interview at The Market today. It's not a big-girl job, but it's a job that I'll enjoy more and that will give me more hours than Wawa. I'm torn because everyone at Wawa has been really great to me... It's just not a convenient job. They're also haven't problems with some of their workers (who think it's acceptable to drink on the job) and blah blah blah. It's all drama. D/D free is the way for me. I really wanna get back in a kitchen too. Plus, if I graduate and don't have something lined up (heaven FORBID), it'll be a lot better for me to have a day-job than my nightlife...

Anywho, I feel like it went really well and hopefully they'll give me some great news when they call back next week... YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!

I got my hair cut. Again. Shorter! It's still as long in the front, but really, really short in the back with lots of layers. :)

KAT VON D TOMORROW!!!!!!

Work saturday night...

Mr. Shea's funeral Sunday.

We'll see.

"... And Bubble Gum Pie! Yum!!"

*sigh* so here we are again. The middle of the week. Ready to be done.

For dinner tonight I'm making Jambalaya. I cheated a little though. I bought a box of Jambalaya rice (Zatarain's of course), but I also got some sweet sausage, Cajun shrimp (from the deli), and a can of fire-roasted, diced tomatoes to make it a little less blah and a little more home-madey. OH! And salted potatoes as a side dish.

I'm a big fan of doing prep before I actually "cook" because it makes everything run a lot smoother and makes clean-up (Wes' job!) much easier... so my sausage is cooked and cut, the shrimp are peeled, and the potatoes are boiled, buttered, and salted. Just the rice needs to be boiled!

Work tonight. A lecture from a DelVal alumni and then lunch at Lillys with Lynette (research for my review!) tomorrow. Without a nap.

Maybe pictures of snowy campus tomorrow... maybe. I've been thinking of changing my PhotoBlog layout as well... it seems like other blogs have much more space for pictures. I upload the largest version it'll allow me too and it's not like they're small files... so I don't know why mine are coming out kinda small. ARG!

My friend, a fellow foodie from school, is weirding me out. Last Thursday, when I was out to dinner with Lynette, he texts me and asks if he can ask my advice on something that he hasn't told anyone about. Why this kid thinks my opinion is valid, I'll never know. Don't get me wrong, I'm very flattered that he's concerned with what I think, but when I say "kid," I don't mean "kid." This guy is 30 years old with a fiancee and daughter! Anywho, he describes this situation that I've seen and experienced a thousand times: There's this other girl and she makes me feel so special and I can tell her anything and I've known her for so long and I feel like (the fiancee) is ignoring me and I think she might be planning on leaving me... what do I do?! It's that "what do I do?" at the end that I dread.

It's easy for someone on the outside of the situation to rationalize a desirable outcome and give logical advice. But, as anyone who's been in a relationship knows, only the people within the relationship can fully understand it in all it's messy glory... and to which there is anything but logic involved. When my friend was texting (the worst way for a convo like this to be held), I know he was making this girl sound amazing and dimming his fiancee. I actually have yet to meet her, but from what I've heard of her, from my friend and from other people, she's not a terrible person by any means. My friends problem is he is extremely insecure with himself and his fiancee, who has a full-time job and is a mother to a lovely daughter, has not had the time to dote and compliment and be fully attentive to. Then this other girl comes along who he hasn't spoken to in however long, and is sweet, and adoring, and smiley and all those things that fuel my friends self-esteem.

So what do I suggest? Well, the obvious: "Don't talk to her. Don't respond to her emails/texts/calls. I'm not saying be a dick, but focus on your fiancee and your daughter. "The grass is always greener" and it's not like you're living a terrible life."

Did he listen? Not really. Apparently she came to visit him at his job (he claims that he can't avoid her because she knows where he works, lives, blah blah blah) on Monday and he wasn't willing to say, "I can't chat, I'm at work, I'm busy." So. Whatever.

Look, if the guy were obviously miserable, I'd say "Leave." But I honestly don't think he is. He just needs that attention to feel good about himself. I just hope he's smart enough not to do anything stupid.

Sno Dayz

No school today!!!!

YAYAYAY!

So Wesley is getting up early and we're going to breakfast before he has to go to work :)

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And then I'm going to do what everyone else does on snow days: rent a bunch of movies from iTunes and hope that Wesley gets sent home!!

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Alrighty, so I decided to start up a Flickr account because there seems to be more activity going on there than here... So, check it out!

"Not Everyone Here is That Fucked Up and Cold"

I have to write a paper for psychology class about intelligence...

Intelligence seems like an easy thing to identify... until you actually sit down and think of all the people you know and what makes them intelligent (or why they're not, should that be the case) and realize that it's actually very complicated and extremely difficult to generalize.

I need some ideas as to what "intelligence" is!!!!