So over it...

I have a love/hate relationship with school. More specifically: college.

I loooooove learning. Love, love, love it. Going to class is... Ok. It's nice to do when there's nothing else I'd rather be doing. I don't even mind being tested a majority of the time. But homework and the outrageous cost of school are two things I really hate.

I basically put my life on hold for four more years and am tens of thousands of dollars in debt and feel completely out of control because I'm stuck here. I know it's what I needed to do to go where'd I'd like to later... but I've just been unhappy-ish and mediocre feeling for long enough that I almost wish I had gotten some shitty job and done school only part time.

I've been feeling really useless and hopeless lately. I think it may be the transition from school to "real life." School is all I know and it's what I'm good at. I've worked all throughout high school and college... but those were jobs, not careers... not anything I really cared about. I feel stuck in this weird overlapping wrapping-up-of-school-and-getting-on-with-it world... I'm still working so hard but there's no job waiting for me at the end so I get the "what's the point?" mentality. I wish I could just slide through these next couples months without a worry and just know that I'll get my Magna Cum Laude and I'll have a job and I'll have a better place to live and be able to sleep well for once.

Maybe I'm not so good at this "life" thing afterall.