Permission to be whiney.

I don't have many worries or troubles or 'situations' in my life right now.

I've got my Wesley, a place to live, a job, and friends. I do what I like to: read, drink in moderation, listen to music, surf the interwebz, smoke, eat, cook, kayak, travel, etc. I'm healthy, my family is healthy.

Yet my mind has never been more active.

I lay down to sleep (usually between 5am and 9am) and I could've been up since the morning of the day before, been out, been to work, etc., whatever... and I can not sleep. I can not turn my mind off.

I think it has something to do with the amount I've been reading lately and my work schedule and the nature of my work. If you haven't realized it already, a rock (or someone with a head as dense as one) could do my job. It has its moment when it gets semi-challenging, but I think that's mostly due to the newness of the job and not yet having been in certain situations. That being said, I don't find it a particularly mentally stimulating job. Which I knew it wouldn't be.

Lack of mentally challenging work and my intense reading lately have worked together to form this non-stop motion in my head. When I'm in bed, not sleeping, I don't think of money problems or relationship problems and other such nonsense. No, I think of the fantasy lands that authors create. It was probably Atonement that ruined me. The detail was so rich (albeit, annoying) and the characters so developed that I was there, I knew those people... At least in that weird not-awake, not-asleep phase. I'm sure that it doesn't help that I read while in bed hoping that my eyes will become too heavy to stay open for another minute and I'll pass out, conveniently in my bed. All that mental stimulation right before sleep while not having had any at work gets my mind working at the worst possible time. Ugh.

I need to get this third shift thing figured out.

I'm gonna surprise Wesley by having his bottles washed for him today. That bum gets to sleep for another three and a half hours. More if I get the house cleaned before then. Oy.

Love you sweetums :)